The cat lady

mfrench

Senior Member
Yep, she was really scuzzy!
I was out front, and, we have fresh cut/spread soil out there covering some septic trench repairs. And she loves fresh cut dirt. She was out there, on her back, and sides, rolling around in it, and, she went from having distinctive black tiger'ish patterns, to, being closer to a monotone decomposed granite gold color. But, she was sparkling from the granite crystals; she thought she was so chic.
So, i grabbed her, and, Sarge ran distraction, while I got the tap water warmed up.
Then, I carried her into the bathroom, where she saw Sarge and I teamed up, and, she tried to evacuate over my shoulder. That always smarts a bit.
So, in she went. And, she settled right down, with the warm water, and very light thinned shampoo.

Now to use some of our new favorite words; Alluvial.

There were four distinct trails of Alluvial flow, one from each foot, leading down the drain. Yep, silt added to septic tank - yea.
 
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mfrench

Senior Member
So, another tale of my jackass cat,...
Yesterday afternoon, around this time, she had spent her day out as a tigress, and she came up to the picnic table feeding-grooming station on the patio, and, wanted to get brushed out, which generally indicates her end of day, clean me up, and bring me in time.
Nope,... she decided to jump from the picnic table, and ran up to the wild edge, where she found some fresh gopher hole dirt pushed to the surface, and she had herself a good roll in it, completely obliterating the black stripes, and making her monotone buckskin color, again. We barely got a day out of her last bath before she committed to a complete dusting-in again.
Back to the tale,...
So, I went up to see if I could get ahold of her, and she went into avoidance mode,... you know,.. where they'll let you get like 3' from them, and then they scoot. She did this about 3 cycles worth, and then, back into the thicket she went. She sat in deep, out of reach, and thumbed her nose at me.
So, I thought, I'll get her closer to dinner (we eat and go to bed early around here),... 4:30 rolls around, no cat. We have dinner.
5:30,... no cat
6;00, no cat, and its getting dark. So I go out to try to let her find me (easiest way to find her, is to let her find me).
Finally,... there she is, meowing like she wanted to come in, trotting towards me; but, nope,.... a 5' avoidance swerve around me, and, then a 50' mad cat dash to a tall tree, out by the road. Of course, she climbed to the top, and settled in for the warm afterglow of the sunset.
AccKK!
So, I went out from 7 -> 9pm, and, there she was, up in the top of the tree, comfortably in a notch in the branches. But, it was really windy, and her resting spot in the tree top was swaying probably 5' from side to side. And, she just looked down her nose at me., like, so,... come and get me.
So, I went in, and readied the house for bed, and, then went to bed, but into toss and turn mode. (have i mentioned my cat is an asshole?). Another night of sleep lost to a cat.
Remember, Kitty,. there are packs of fanged monsters that lurk out there, every single night. And, they eat cats.
OK, the last time she pulled this crap, she showed up at 3am, in the heat of a coyote moment, with them in danger close. This time, she never showed up.
Then, I woke up, this morning around 6:15am, and, stepped out onto the patio, and, she came running down her cushy brick and block cat path that I made her; in order to cross a jagged gravel field that hurts her feet. And then, to have her griping at me about having to spend the night outside.
She was thrilled to get her brushing, and then to be brought in. Then, she slept from 6:30, until 1pm, when Sarge finally caved, and let her back out. Shes out napping on her water heater closet bed that i built her as punishment for her last transgressions.
My cat is a jackass.
 

mfrench

Senior Member
And, then there is this, from a different form of pet, the winged ones,...
How does this relate to the cat lady, Mike?

At our old place, we had, get this, three Cockatiels; we must've been high, or, stupid. And to make it worse, we had two females, and one male (by accident).
Well, to keep the inside less dusty, and a bit quieter, I built them a box outside of the kitchen window. It was built to the window frame size, and perhaps 15" deep?
We could open the window, and, put them outisde there, to annoy the neighbors.
They grew to absolutely love this box, and insisted on being out in it every day. They in fact made such a racket that they attracted a hawk that tried to get them, and crashed into the gridding that they were behind. It had its talons holding onto the grid, and, amazingly enough, the 'tiels were right there screaming at it, not trying to get away.

This is Jasper on the left, displaying, and, the late Birdy, flirting.
IMG005.jpgIMG004.jpg

So, we move to a new house, and, I figure, what the heck, I'm going to build another window box for Jasper, so she can get outside (our birds have full flight ability - never wing clipped). So, i build it, and, Jaspers reaction to it? She hated it. Absolutely did not want to be in it at all, period; fly away from you if you bring her near it. I built it to the same specs, everything.
Great, now I have a weird box hanging on the side of the house.
The new box that Jasper hates, is on the wall.
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Back to the much hated window box,....
Kitty loves it!
As mentioned above, she jumps up there from the blue box on the storage rack. But, more than that, is, she absolutely loves being inside the box in the early morning hours before the sun comes up, and, at night, before we go to bed.
So, the bird box is now a cat box, and a great way for her to get outside air, and be safe from the coyotes at night.

And, because she was so bad in staying out all night long, I'm thinking about making a 2x4 path from the water heater closet tuffet, over to the top of the window box. She makes the vertical jump up there, regularly, so, why not spoil her with another pathway?

The cement bits and pieces, and, chunks of stone,... this is the cat path that leads across two runs of gravel. This is 3/4" gravel, with sharp points from crushing. Both Kitty and Halfy cross this stuff like we would if we were barefoot,... ouch, ouch!
So, I built these paths across the gravel; you can see the other one in the image above. This was in the form of punishment for past transgressions that she has committed, because shes a brat.

DSCN9259.jpg
 
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Fran604g

Just Call Me Junior
Site Supporter
And, then there is this, from a different form of pet, the winged ones,...
How does this relate to the cat lady, Mike?

At our old place, we had, get this, three Cockatiels; we must've been high, or, stupid. And to make it worse, we had two females, and one male (by accident).
Well, to keep the inside less dusty, and a bit quieter, I built them a box outside of the kitchen window. It was built to the window frame size, and perhaps 15" deep?
We could open the window, and, put them outisde there, to annoy the neighbors.
They grew to absolutely love this box, and insisted on being out in it every day. They in fact made such a racket that they attracted a hawk that tried to get them, and crashed into the gridding that they were behind. It had its talons holding onto the grid, and, amazingly enough, the 'tiels were right there screaming at it, not trying to get away.

This is Jasper on the left, displaying, and, the late Birdy, flirting.
View attachment 44795View attachment 44794

So, we move to a new house, and, I figure, what the heck, I'm going to build another window box for Jasper, so she can get outside (our birds have full flight ability - never wing clipped). So, i build it, and, Jaspers reaction to it? She hated it. Absolutely did not want to be in it at all, period; fly away from you if you bring her near it. I built it to the same specs, everything.
Great, now I have a weird box hanging on the side of the house.
The new box that Jasper hates, is on the wall.
View attachment 44801
View attachment 44807
Back to the much hated window box,....
Kitty loves it!
As mentioned above, she jumps up there from the blue box on the storage rack. But, more than that, is, she absolutely loves being inside the box in the early morning hours before the sun comes up, and, at night, before we go to bed.
So, the bird box is now a cat box, and a great way for her to get outside air, and be safe from the coyotes at night.

And, because she was so bad in staying out all night long, I'm thinking about making a 2x4 path from the water heater closet tuffet, over to the top of the window box. She makes the vertical jump up there, regularly, so, why not spoil her with another pathway?

The cement bits and pieces, and, chunks of stone,... this is the cat path that leads across two runs of gravel. This is 3/4" gravel, with sharp points from crushing. Both Kitty and Halfy cross this stuff like we would if we were barefoot,... ouch, ouch!
So, I built these paths across the gravel; you can see the other one in the image above. This was in the form of punishment for past transgressions that she has committed, because shes a brat.

View attachment 44803
Each time I see your place, I hate winter a little more. I think, "man, what I could accomplish if I had more than half of the year doing it." I imagine my waist diameter wouldn't increase during these winter months. We have about 2 feet of snow on the ground after 2 semi-large storms in 3 weeks. Sharon's not buying into it, though.
 

mfrench

Senior Member
So, please don't hate me,...

I'll start it out with Halfy and Sarge,...
She and Halfy, who is transitioning in name to Brutus (at least as a nickname),... they're getting quite comfortable. Sarge even gave him a cheek rub, by accidental contact, with the back of her hand, while she was feeding him - twice now.
He stays on the table (feeding-grooming station) when I'm out there, and he even tolerated me putting on my work boots yesterday, without splitting.
DSCN9249.jpgDSCN9250.jpg

Ok,... now for the don't hate me part,...
A native Daisy, Erigeron, in early flowering. Some people kill it, because its a native "weed" to them. This one is really old, and, gets totally covered in yellow flowers in about two more weeks.
DSCN9240.jpg

These keep the humminbirds going in late witer, for nectar. They work them constantly (the pink coral bells). The green that is spilling from the planter pocket is in early flowering mode, and will keep it up until summer, with a dark purple alien'esque looking flower.
DSCN9242.jpgDSCN9243.jpg
The dark brown crap, is my coffee press grounds. The plant loves them.

The bulbs, are nearly spent.
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The succulents aren't sucking:
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And the native Manzanitas are in full bloom. The flowers shade towards a pink'ish hue, but the lighting shows them as white.
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It looks like our low will be around 45º, and by Wednesday, 85º and sunny

[ducks]

Now for the downside,...
My weed whip is warmed up, my safety cones are in place out on the road, and, hopefully I'll slow the cars from 45mph, and down to perhaps 30'ish, as they whizz by me on the inside of a long blind turn; this as I knock down the native grasses that cause fires along the roadside bluff face (6' tall bluff face full of weeds right now).
 

mfrench

Senior Member
And, I feel a song coming on,... somewhat parallel to Pheobe, on Friends, Smelly Cat

Scuzzy cat, scuzzy cat, why are you such a scuzzy cat?
verse 2:
I feel a bath coming on, yep a bath coming on,... a clean cat by the sunset on,....
The patterning on her back is usually glossy pitch black.
The plant matter, sometimes includes weed seeds. This time it just looks like dead stuff.
DSCN9265.jpg



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You can sing along, just follow the filthy bouncing cat.
I feel a bath coming on, feel a bath coming on,...
 

mfrench

Senior Member
DSCN9271.jpg

The Octosock ^
This is her punishment for her last transgression, when she stayed out all night.

Octosock build sheet,...
An old sock with a hole in the heel
A new bag of fresh Cat Nip for the head
Hemp rope scrap from building her a rope scratching post
Nylon twine scrap from doing shit around the house
A pair of zip ties for the rope attachment point.

I didn't spend a dime on her for this punishment, because she is a g33k,... and a gravy licker (a different rant).
 

Ingenieur

Site Supporter
Site Supporter
About the same time that Kitty showed up from the wilds, and perhaps a bit before, we had sightings of a cat that we call, Halfy. We're not sure if Halfy is a male or female. So, I'm referring to him, generically, at this point; but, I do suspect he's a male.
At first, if you happened to see Halfy, at all, it was at a full speed stealth escape running mode. He'd disappear in an instant at lightning speed. So, spotting any identifying "cat junk" has been all but impossible.
Sarge, the spousal unit, has been soft-talking to Halfy now for the better part of a strong 6 months++; not making direct eye contact, just soft-talkin'.
Shes also been leaving him a paper plate of kibble food, and/or, sometimes wet food that the spoiled one, Kitty, rejects because its been open for too long.

Kitty and Halfy seem to have some sort of relationship. I've seen them sharing a gopher hole hunt, and, in other togetherness activities around the yard. My next door neighbor found them together in his small greenhouse, sitting shoulder to shoulder. They've spent time on either side of Kitty's bedroom screen door.
They seem to have some form of relationship.

Today, Halfy was on the patio, and Sarge started soft-talking to him, and, he stayed put while she brought out a plate of kibble for him. Sarge roamed the patio, having a smoke, and Halfy stayed put, and ate. He then jumped off of the picnic table on the patio, where he was fed, and, he sat there, and, he talked back and forth with Sarge, while I took a couple of pics.

Halfy is a large cat. And, in the first sightings, I could have sworn he was a Bobcat, as those are fairly common round these parts. I've seen smaller Bobcats than Halfy. He is a very stout cat.
He is named Halfy, by us, for his naturally bobbed tail.

Halfy, after this afternoons grubbing,...

View attachment 41674


Whose yinz lookin at, bub?
View attachment 41675
muscle bound?
That cat looks like a mix, cat and bobcat?
 

mfrench

Senior Member
@Ingenieur
She did not exhibit any favoring or soreness. I doubt it got her.
Kitty (the proficient Rat'er) came to us from an existence in the wild. She was domesticated, but, we think she might have just been a "barn cat" in our neighbors horse barn facility up the hill from us. That person was here for only about a year, and then flipped the house, and split. That is about the time that both Kitty and, Halfy, the big feral male, showed up. Halfy has settled in here, and become quite tame now, at least he doesn't just run from us in fear.
Now, when I go to feed him, he comes right to my hand, and, has smelled my hand quite a number of times now. I've actually felt the wet on his nose.
It's funny though, now, as he still hisses at me, but, no longer with his ears back; now, its more of a friendly hiss greeting with no threat behind it. I've also been able to pet him a little bit while he is eating.

Back to Kitty,...
Thats the biggest thing she has dragged home. But, one of her favorites are the Gophers around here. And talk about vicious,... Gophers are all that! And it is crazy to see her doing it, as she goes into their holes as deep as her arm will reach. That scares me to even think about it.
Kitty dragged one up onto the patio slab. She dropped it there, alive and kicking. I went to stomp it out, with a pair of these new foam sandals on. It jumped at my foot, and bit into and thru the foam sandal, just missing the tip of my toe. It would have taken a large chunk of flesh! I then clobbered it with a shovel. /end gopher
 

Tillerman

Junior Member
Years ago we had 3 outdoor cats (all neutered and vetted) on our small farm. One of them seemed to specialize in rats (we had an actively used corn crib at the time). One late summer day, I walked into the corner of an open faced farm shed and discovered a literal stack of dead rats, lined up like cordwood.
 
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mfrench

Senior Member
I don't mind the dead rodents.
I also feel very fortunate that Kitty doesn't focus on birds. She seems to spend her time on the rodents. But, just the same, I used some poultry fencing to act as a blockade to prevent her from ambushing birds where Sarge feeds them, and concentrates them.
That area has a right and left flank of poultry fence leading diagonally inwards towards each other; and a firewood stack at the end. All of this leads to frustration for Kitty, as the birds have plenty of time to scramble by the time she gets around it.
 

mfrench

Senior Member
A verse from childhood song,....

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Hairy pickled piggy feet
French fried eyeballs floating in some kerosene
And me without a spoon.



So, kitty got a half of a Fancy Feast snap pack pair this morning, along with a side of Kibble that she really likes. Then, about 6:30, with a rising sun lighting things enough to avoid the monsters of the night, the coyotes,... Kitty got to start her mornings perusal of the yard.

To the second verse/chorus of the song,....
Great green gobs of greasy grimey gopher guts
And me with a counter brush, dust pan, and hose to clean it up, so that Sarge doesn't shriek in fright..


A nice hot breakfast to go along with the other feasts offered this morning?
DSCN9801.jpg
 

Tillerman

Junior Member
A verse from childhood song,....

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Hairy pickled piggy feet
French fried eyeballs floating in some kerosene
And me without a spoon.



So, kitty got a half of a Fancy Feast snap pack pair this morning, along with a side of Kibble that she really likes. Then, about 6:30, with a rising sun lighting things enough to avoid the monsters of the night, the coyotes,... Kitty got to start her mornings perusal of the yard.

To the second verse/chorus of the song,....
Great green gobs of greasy grimey gopher guts
And me with a counter brush, dust pan, and hose to clean it up, so that Sarge doesn't shriek in fright..


A nice hot breakfast to go along with the other feasts offered this morning?
View attachment 52630
That looks bigger than a mouse. Our farm cats bring us prizes fairly regularly.
 

mfrench

Senior Member
It's a gopher (todays prize). You can kind of see its teeth; but you really shouldn't study on it all that hard, it's kinda gross.
The last one was a full blown rat.
I can't say that I miss them.
 
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